Don't Drop the Soap Mr. Mayor!! - An Open Letter to Kwame Kilpatrick

Hey Guys!!! I am back!. We are changing up the format today due to the fact that I am writing an open letter to the most Honorable Kwame Kilpatrick, the Mayor of the City of Detroit. Please send me any additions you would like to see in this letter. However, I hope to have covered every necessary point at the end of what I shall call... The Kwamefesto.

To Kwame Kilpatrick, The Mayor of the City of Detroit, Michigan
From: Toye, born and raised in another Midwestern city where gators and Cadillacs also reign supreme.
Date: August 7, 2008

Dear Mr. Kilpatrick:

First off, I would like to say I was saddened to hear about your sentencing today............ but I can't. Sir, you deserve so much more than that for your many transgressions. The citizens of the City of Detroit deserve at least that much.

In case you have forgotten I have taken the time to make a list of your top five misdeeds and have taken the time to suggest the appropriate remedy/punishment. No need to thank me, this advice is on the house, save those dollars for your next Mayoral Mansion event or better yet for your commissary when you are found guilty of perjury.

5. You are the Mayor of a major city and wear an earring.

Maybe I am just old fashioned but sir an earring is probably not helping your image. It associates you with the wrong type. Rappers and Rockers have earrings usually not mayors. However Rappers and Rockers have groupies and apparently so do you.

Perhaps the earring attracts groupies and women.

Remedy/Punishment: Sir!!! Take off the earring and perhaps you'll stop attracting mistresses!! I mean forever!! Then your wife will not have to beat any other female citizen of Detroit with a bat Public Safety First.

4. Your Celebrity Endorsement Deal with Stacy Adams Suit Collection

Pictured the Mayor and his wife....not one of his mistresses

Before we get to your other nonsense, sir why do you insist on wearing suits that always look like you are going to the club afterwards. As a fellow mid-western, I understand the love for suits in bold colors, and jackets coming to the ankles. However, as the mayor this is a faux pas.

Remedy/Punishment: Revocation of your Stacy Adams Catalog lifetime member card! Plus an additional year in prison for thinking this attire is appropriate!

3. Throwing "Ho"downs at the Mayoral Mansion

No Picture needed!! You know what strippers look like or can imagine it. Did you really have to invite them to your house for a party and then Sir one of them is shot to death in the midst of scandal surrounding this incident. For pure stupidity and simpleness you should receive life in in prison.

2. Text messaging your new boo on your work phone and she works for you. ... never a good idea

Mr. Kilpatrick if you valued your job at all you would have learned from Slick Willy. That whole Monica thing did not go over well nor did lying about it. Should you be suprised that you are now on trial for perjury and that you are being asked to step down? Like Mike said "Just do it" STEP DOWN. History will repeat itself . However, Kwame unlike Willy you were not praised for your efforts in office. People dislike you! Like the whole city of Detroit and the Suburbs! Also you are a bit tanner than Willy so you are going down!!

Remedy: Remedy the whole situation and resign!! Just stop it! You look foolish!

1. You generally suck at your Job!!

Just today the Obama campaign even asked you as a Superdelegate to stay home. They do not want your vote. Sir I hate to say this but you may just be worse than Marion Barry and he was caught doing the rock. However, to this day that man is still a DC Counsel member in his district. People still respect him. He does things for citizens. He's not buying Navy's on the city budget or plunging them into a record deficit. Basically you suck and the fact you are rerunning for office shows you are a simpleton. You are also destroying the city of Detroit, home of GM, Motown and a basketball team with players as ignorant as you (ie Rasheed Wallace)

I beg you do us all a favor and just disappear.


Regards,

Toye