Happy Monday and Happy BDAY Youtube

Hi Loves!

Its been a little over a week since my last post so forgive me. I have been super busy and a lot of great things have been going on. However..... in the midst of my busy few weeks. I must say... my room.....well its suffered. I am currently living in a FEMA disaster area. It was like one of those situations that you can only let good friends in because you know that they won't completely write you off as trifling or report you to A and E Hoarders.

So today is the day that I try to dig out. I have a week vacay of sorts and I will be heading to the complete anti -tropical location..... a random city, in a greaf midwest state, on a not so random mama's newly remodeled patio to spend my vacay. No beach but def will have a drink with an umbrella and lots of rum in it!

Anyhow today I write in celebration of one of my fav hobbies: Youtube. Youtube is five and its def changed my life. I love ignorance and ridiculousness. Youtube brings these things to me quickly. Whatever you want to find yoga videos, cooking shows, dancing babies..... one click away! In honor of Youtubes BDay I thought I would share one of my favs this Monday for you to start your work week. Enjoy!!

120 Reasons Not to Cheat.......Rather a $500 million Reason

Well Tiki Barber can thank Tiger Woods for burying his dorm affair deeper in the news reel.....

I had sworn off talking about Tigergate as I had SkipperGates and the beer summit. The situation had gotten so ridiculous that I could not invest any personal time into it. However, it has just come out today from the New York Daily News (which yea I know is a tabloid but so is Bossip and some of you all take those fools as word bond) that while in sex therapy, Tiger admitted to sleeping with AT LEAST 120 women while in his 5 year marriage to Elin. She apparently was so angered that it was a Reynolds wrap for their marriage after he revealed that.

I entitled this post 120 reasons not cheat in honor of these women. 50 of those reasons include the 50 recognized sexually transmitted diseases by the CDC that he could have brough home to his wife! (Since Tiger in all his mess seemed to like to go without sunscreen, raincoat, rubbermaid, or whatever you chose to call a prophylactic) However, I will say $500 million reasons because thats how much Tiger could potentially be paying Elin who after learning this information lawyered up. Once again I recommend she add T.I.'s attorney to her team. She will definitely get that money!

I am not mad at Elin's viking self. I mean people have argued that just because you cheat does not mean you do not love your spouse. BUT 120 WOMEN? You clearly don't love me. You don't respect me and did not care if I found out. Y'all know how hard it is to keep a secret that you let just one person in on? I know for me there are people off jump I know I can't say blip to because as soon as we get off the phone they will most def tell at least one person. So he had to know it would be hard to keep his cheating secret with 120 women. From what I saw of the women who came out, some of them off jump looked like the Snitchin for Cash type. But our friend the Caublasian has always had a sense of entitlement if you ask me so perhaps he thought he had that privelege blanket to protect him. Clearly he was confused. We all see how quick the women came out the woodwork to get paid for their stories.

Anyhow this whole situation is just shocking to me. One..... if y'all heard those voicemails (errrr uhhhhh ummmm hey its Tiger), the mans game is whack. How'd he pull 120 women!!?? The power of money. Secondly......The public relations nightmare of this whole thing has been a mess. To me the only way he could show he ever loved his wife is to not fight any settlement negotiations, give her what she is owed, and move on.

I wonder if Tiger thinks this was all worth it. He will have $500 million reasons to think of why it may not have beem. He should have just did the Diddy. Had his children by women willing and comfortable with collecting child support checks as income and not even have fronted to be the guy next door.

Welcome to Atlanta

Oh Atlanta! How I miss thee. I am sure T.I. did as well. Unless you were living under a rock, I am sure you are familiar with the fact T.I. went away for a year or so for stock piling like he was a militia leader. (You can read my original comments on that here)

So TIP throws himself a welcome back party. When did it become appropriate to celebrate getting out of jail?? I don't think Hallmark has a card for that [Congrats on your release. Hope you didn't drop the soap!] I mean really I feel like its a glorification of breaking the law. You are getting praise for something you weren't supposed to have done.

So him and Tiny seem to be back on track. He has given her a ring and they are engaged, They are in this pic stepping out to this party. They seeem happy. Her with her new hair color of the week, tasting the rainbow as always and him sans weapons. Fabuolous. I really try to like them as a couple, but I am just not feeling it! First off the fact that subtitles are necessary to understand both of them [On T.I.'s Road to Redemption] maybe is causing a disconnect for me. Secondly, I am consistantly confused when people have been together for years and have children together and are still dating or newly engaged. Ummmmm what are you doing? Getting to know each other better?? I mean really! Tie the knot already!

But I guess their dimmuntive sizes and extreme hoodness make them a good match. Its not for me to understand I suppose. However, I need her to keep her man out of trouble from now on. Cause T.I. is beyond his three strikes for sure and with him being 5 foot tall, any long jail stints might make her boo someone elses boo!

R&B Today: Keith Sweat Come Teach Some Whinning

So anyone who knows me. Knows I LOVE a good R and B song. I am talking about some male singer begging and pleading for his woman or from the depths of his soul explaining why he loves his woman. Carl Thomas's Emotional is currently in my car CD player and I have been blasting Cold Cold World.

It's a cold cold cold world

Living here without you in my life

Although I try to get along, but I can't

Cuz I need you to be here, why oh why

WOOOHH I mean can't you feel it!? He's singing from his heart! I can just imagine him in that studio begging and pleading for his woman back, Scurl juices running down his forehead and all!

So of course the current state of music saddens me. When it comes to R &B I have a general rule with few exceptions made, that if it was made after 2000, I generally don't listen to R&B. [Please no judgement but that allows for my enjoyment of TP2.com by Robert Kelly] I mean singers these days are usually singing a song featuring some rapper, and not singing about how they love their woman and want her back, but usually about something ignorant. Even Usher has succumbed to this madness. Have you heard that song Little Freak by him. Put your hand in my pants??? Usher you are a 30 year old man, I need you to stop the madness! As one of my friends remarked when she heard it "Usher's Little Freak is beyond filfth, I turn it off whenever it comes on, my Jesus comes out". I can only agree.

Anyhow suprise suprise that my new favorite CD is Trey Songz's Ready. I for the most part enjoy every song on the CD. However, its a prime example of whats wrong with R and B today. First off Trigga must every single you drop have an accompaning sexually explicit video???!!! Sir if my 13 year old sister is in the room I certainly could not watch any of your videos! Secondly, about 50 percent of the CD is about him having relations. Its overkill. He is in fact pulling what I call a "male Rhianna/Ciara". I mean he can actualy sing so he is not using sex to cover up his lack of talent. But he is using sex (and his washboard abs) as a distraction. He is distracting us from the fact that he is just like the other perpitrating R&B singers out there and is not really singing about love, but lust. And he has somehow successfully distracted me!

You know in the midst of this hooplla on black relationships. I think Nightline, Steve Harvey\, and Jill I mean Hill Harper (cough) need only look at R & B music. Maybe if more begging for my heart was going on in music and not for the nookie, I believe men would follow suit. Yep see I have solved the whole issue. Go ahead crown me a relationship expert like Steve Harvey. Minus the two divorces I am dropping knowledge just as well. :) Now if someone would just pay me to write a book with my theory, life would be grand, and Sallie Mae could stop caling me!

Keepin it Real Goes Wrong..... Techie Edition

So clearly I am proof that New Years Resolution's are easily broken. On January 1, 2010 I promised I would write consistantly....my computer crashed two days later.....so here it is April 21 and I am back! Thank Dell Preffered Finance and this situation I am about to comment on for my return.

Recently, I got an iPhone. I know you are thinking so what? But honestly I don't know how I functioned without it prior. I do everything with it. It's my bestfriend. We are tight. It was love at first sight. I call it iBoo. So some haters out there following the announcement of the iPad, iBoo's big brother, felt that there was no possible need for the device since you could get a computer or an iPhone. I dispute these attacks on my boo's brother because trust if I get $400 in discretionary income, like Swizz Beatz said:"I'll be on to the next one"

However, in this ever changing world leave it to ignorant people to make a bad name for the iFamily:



An ireporter (basically me everyday when I take pics of kids acting a fool on DC metro on my iPhone) was at my old stomping grounds, Lenox Mall in Atlanta GA and saw this fool who was more than willing to pose with his iPad on a chain. Is that what we are doing now?? We are wearing technology! And you know he was playing Gucci Mane or some other foolish rubbish. He thinks he is fly. iReporter thinksthat he is a fool. I find myself per usual like I want to on the metro, wanting to put on my invisible cape and pretend not to be associated with this young man by race.

I know I shouldn't say that. Cause honestly I love being Black.......until we do this foolishness! I was so angered by this that I immediately came to write here to vent!!! Like honestly, why do we feel that ignorance is cool? You look a fool and no one takes you seriously. And now certain types of people will make value judgments about me based on you wearing a iPad around your neck! Prayerfully its not the next person who interviews my under 30 self for a job. I want us to do better.

Also is this man serious! Sir how much street cred do you have rockin an iPad around your neck. Hope you are not walking to the MARTA Station with that on cause trust "pumkin and dem" will jack you.

Anyhow someone just hit me on gchat on my iBoo gotta run! But this is just the beginning. I am back and committed to getting Toye back to Talking.

Happy New Year

Alright..... I know what you are thinking....... after not posting for a decade. No this heifer did not have the nerve to post. One of my friends said I just need to kill Toyetalks cause she can't follow it with my random and inconsistent posting. Lol and eye roll. As usual I shake the haters off and continue.

However, its a new year and I am in a better place right now and recommitted to a lot of things. One of these is using Toyetalks to keep my friends and extended circle abreast on whats going on with me, my life, and as always with a humorous twist. :)

Look for a revamped approach though. A little more personal and look forward to watching me get through what I pray will be a blessed, happy, and prosperous 2010.

With that I share some of my New Years.... well I won't say resolutions because everyone makes this list of stuff that they know they will stick to for 2 weeks and fall off...... so I can't be saying I resolve to do something like lose 30 pounds when you guys will maybe definitely see me out eating Popeyes maybe today [I mean really you guys know those people know how to fry some chicken!]

Some of My New Years Un-Resolutions- Things I will not do this New Year

1. I will absolutely not get a Snuggie

Didn't expect that huh? I noticed in 2010 that these Snuggie people have amplified their efforts to ad to my useless junk chest. Sir since the sweet baby Jesus was in his manger a regular ole knit or wool blanket has had no issues. So I am gonna keep the blankie rolling. If its good enough for Jesus, its good enough for me.

2. I will not give the side eye to crackheads

Not only do I recognize now that an addiction to rock cocaine is a real disease and struggle that affects many and their families, I learned recently that making eye contact with crackheads of any kind causes them to engage you in conversation, and I don't need any of that in my 2010.

3. Not judging a person by their catsuit

Usually I find catsuits morally wrong. But last night at the new years gathering I was at, I met a nice girl who let me sit in her VIP section cause my feet were swollen and killing me! We had a nice discussion about politics as well. Usually the fact that she wore a catsuit would have had me make a snap judgment. It was a lesson learned. I will give catsuit wearers a chance.

4. Not neglect Toyetalks

I can't promise everyday cause I live in the real world. However, I am promising to be more frequent!

5. I will not forget how blessed I am

Often I have a day where the following occurs. I wake up late, miss my buss, catch the next bus, sit next to someone who clearly englected to wash themselves, get to work, encounter some extra douche, realize I forgot my lunch on the bus and the non washer is probably enjoying my homemade chilli and rubbermaid container, have to stay late, get home to find some appliance broken. With all of that, its often that I just want to cap the day with cake.... like a sheet cake. Lol But not everyone has a home to go to and some people did not make it to see 2010. So I will not forget how blessed I am to have family and friends a roof and means to sustain myself. I am blessed and also you remember how blessed you are.

Toye is back to talking and hoping you will ad me to your blogroll this new year :)

I'm Back and Pissed Off At These Young Musicians

Hi Guys !!

I know its been awhile but I lost the creative juices! But I fugure as we near the year anniversary of Toyetalks, I would hit you with the new new!!

Hurrican Chris is back with more ignorance after his last hit "Ey Babe" The above video is entitled Halle Berry.................................... Thanks to my girl for putting me on.

This video represents all that is wrong with music today. Igninint (not a mispelling I meant ignint!!) @$$ teany boppers making up foolish dances (ummmm the stanky leg) and singing about nothing (ie Marco Polo which ain't nothing but the grown kids version of peak a boo!!) WHAT HAPPENED TO GOOD MUSIC? Shoot music that makes sense?????

Shoot can someone sing a love song anymore?? Or a song that does not require me to learn choreographed steps (Y'all a basic two step is the limits on my dance abilities)

VH1 has thier Save The Music Campaign.............I don't mean no harm... but WHY? So I can hear this nonsense?? Thoughts Welcome.

~Toye