Reality T.V. You can not make this Ish Up!!

Having grown tired of Summer reruns and now Caught up in the Olympics (For anyone interested My Nigerian Supereagles will be playing for the gold medal on Friday at Midnight!!! :) ) I have been behind on whats on TV now. However, in preparation for tonites premiere of Hazing I mean Making the Band 4 (Tonite 9pm!!) I decided I would catch I want to Work for Diddy.



Now before I go into that nonsense, let me make 2 comments. First why would you EVER want to work for this man. I believe Diddy may be one of Lucifer's Soldiers himself!! How many people who used to work with Diddy are successful right now? Where's 112, Total, Carl Thomas or the LOX? All in pending litigation with Puffy! Shoot B.I.G. is in a suit against him from the grave! So while I may be a simple girl and not really business oriented, I know someone like that is not someone I want to work for! Secondly, when is the last time VH-1 played a video!! Its like every time I see anything on there its reality TV or Flavor Flav which I put in the category of Harsh Reality TV.



Anyhow I have gotten off track. So I finally watched his bootleg version of The Apprentice. One of the contestants is transgendered Laverne, I am mad no one turned me onto this before!! First off Laverne is like a transgendered Toni Childs from Girlfriends. See:





The same weave, botox, and DRAMA QUEEN TENDENCIES. But He-She is the Queen Bee!!


I mean after his-her team lost he-she was thrown into such a dramatic hissy fit. Goodness all kind of tears, eye rolling and rolling his-her neck swinging that Yaki straight color #2! Pure entertainment!!



However, clearly the man who had not heard about Diddy's aversion to Bitchassness was Deon, this fool was a marketing executive specializing in Billboards and gasp on his teams assignment... a Sean John Billboard, he not only did not disclose this but was arguing with the judges using profanity when they told him the ish was trash! He never even told his teammates he had a background in advertising. That's like making you a number one target to go home! You have cursed in a board room or in this case what looked like perhaps the storage room at the Sean John flagship store. So yeah he definitely was fired. The most hilarious thing about this show is he has two burly bouncers escorting the contestants out the building. I say bouncers cause they are looking like they were at the club the other night and not real legitimate security officers.



Anyhow I can not wait til tonites foolishness of Making the Band Begins. Laurie Ann the choreographer who clearly cursed Diddy out and allegedly threw a chair at him last season will be back. I can not wait to see this unfold!!

More of this Idiot...........

Adding on to the Kwamefesto ( a must read) Here is a pic of this fools ankle bracelet that he as the Mayor of US city must now wear!

I really want readers to discuss in the comments section their honest thoughts on the whole situation. To make it interesting, best comment submitted by next Saturday at 12:01 am EST gets a "Free Kwame" T-shirt. I will not be using mine.

Thanks to my friend over at Radiant Girl for the tip on this tomfoolery

R.I.P Bernie Mac

My Thoughts and prayers are with the family of Bernie Mac




One of my favorite stand-ups with him on the Kings of Comedy Tour

Vacay

Hey Guys:

I have not forgotten about you all!! I am on a mini vacay but will be back asap with more commentary on some things that have been on my mind. Number one being Kwame Kilpatricks random Stacy Adams , earring wearing, bootleg Mayorness.

UPDATE: I am back and ready for more talking!!

~Toye

Don't Drop the Soap Mr. Mayor!! - An Open Letter to Kwame Kilpatrick

Hey Guys!!! I am back!. We are changing up the format today due to the fact that I am writing an open letter to the most Honorable Kwame Kilpatrick, the Mayor of the City of Detroit. Please send me any additions you would like to see in this letter. However, I hope to have covered every necessary point at the end of what I shall call... The Kwamefesto.

To Kwame Kilpatrick, The Mayor of the City of Detroit, Michigan
From: Toye, born and raised in another Midwestern city where gators and Cadillacs also reign supreme.
Date: August 7, 2008

Dear Mr. Kilpatrick:

First off, I would like to say I was saddened to hear about your sentencing today............ but I can't. Sir, you deserve so much more than that for your many transgressions. The citizens of the City of Detroit deserve at least that much.

In case you have forgotten I have taken the time to make a list of your top five misdeeds and have taken the time to suggest the appropriate remedy/punishment. No need to thank me, this advice is on the house, save those dollars for your next Mayoral Mansion event or better yet for your commissary when you are found guilty of perjury.

5. You are the Mayor of a major city and wear an earring.

Maybe I am just old fashioned but sir an earring is probably not helping your image. It associates you with the wrong type. Rappers and Rockers have earrings usually not mayors. However Rappers and Rockers have groupies and apparently so do you.

Perhaps the earring attracts groupies and women.

Remedy/Punishment: Sir!!! Take off the earring and perhaps you'll stop attracting mistresses!! I mean forever!! Then your wife will not have to beat any other female citizen of Detroit with a bat Public Safety First.

4. Your Celebrity Endorsement Deal with Stacy Adams Suit Collection

Pictured the Mayor and his wife....not one of his mistresses

Before we get to your other nonsense, sir why do you insist on wearing suits that always look like you are going to the club afterwards. As a fellow mid-western, I understand the love for suits in bold colors, and jackets coming to the ankles. However, as the mayor this is a faux pas.

Remedy/Punishment: Revocation of your Stacy Adams Catalog lifetime member card! Plus an additional year in prison for thinking this attire is appropriate!

3. Throwing "Ho"downs at the Mayoral Mansion

No Picture needed!! You know what strippers look like or can imagine it. Did you really have to invite them to your house for a party and then Sir one of them is shot to death in the midst of scandal surrounding this incident. For pure stupidity and simpleness you should receive life in in prison.

2. Text messaging your new boo on your work phone and she works for you. ... never a good idea

Mr. Kilpatrick if you valued your job at all you would have learned from Slick Willy. That whole Monica thing did not go over well nor did lying about it. Should you be suprised that you are now on trial for perjury and that you are being asked to step down? Like Mike said "Just do it" STEP DOWN. History will repeat itself . However, Kwame unlike Willy you were not praised for your efforts in office. People dislike you! Like the whole city of Detroit and the Suburbs! Also you are a bit tanner than Willy so you are going down!!

Remedy: Remedy the whole situation and resign!! Just stop it! You look foolish!

1. You generally suck at your Job!!

Just today the Obama campaign even asked you as a Superdelegate to stay home. They do not want your vote. Sir I hate to say this but you may just be worse than Marion Barry and he was caught doing the rock. However, to this day that man is still a DC Counsel member in his district. People still respect him. He does things for citizens. He's not buying Navy's on the city budget or plunging them into a record deficit. Basically you suck and the fact you are rerunning for office shows you are a simpleton. You are also destroying the city of Detroit, home of GM, Motown and a basketball team with players as ignorant as you (ie Rasheed Wallace)

I beg you do us all a favor and just disappear.


Regards,

Toye

Barack Needs To Send A Memo to All Celebs: Do Not Try To Help Me!

Barack needs to just issue a blanket memo because the likes of Ludacris and Paris Hilton are about to get him messed up in the game. Earlier this week you may recall that I posted McCain's Hateration ad featuring Paris and Britney Spears. If you have not seen this ish still running on tv click here.

However, Paris Hilton has decided to reply. She most definitely needs to sit herself down somewhere. I mean all my boo needs (no disrespect Michelle) is this hussy making Youtube video's!!! Watch Below

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

I need her to stick to the other types of "video's" she is good at and not let Billy Bob and Becky Sue in Oklahoma who already think he is rolling with Osama or Wright to now think he is getting endorsements from this no talent hefer.

Who's T.I.'s Lawyer?!?!?

Whatever legal counsel T.I. has must get mad business now. Their client was receiving weapons that could possibly supply an Al Queada operation yet is on radio, t.v. shows daily; has a new album coming out; and is making video's. I thought he was sentenced! Here, I find out he does not have to even enter jail for another year and he is using this time to do "community service". Last time I checked seeing him and Tiny at the Hawks Game posing with his Cheaper by the Dozen clan of children is not Punishment!! Him and R Kelly may just have the same attorney. Whoever this mystery attorney is may have the game on lock better than Johnnie Cochran did with O.J. and Diddy.

Anyhow Toyetalks thanks the Georgia judicial system for sponsoring this moment of hateration. However, admittedly I will probably be getting his album anyhow.

Morgan Freeman and Older Men in General

I was saddened to hear about one of my favorite actors, Morgan Freeman, being severely injured in a car accident today.

My friends know I love him!! Like if I was 72 and still had both functioning hips, I would..... well I will stop there.

However, my love for Morgan got me thinking. Notice I stopped myself. However, some do not. Why is it that so many woman get involved with older men? I am not talking 2-5 years here. I am talking significant age gaps of 15-20 years plus. At 25 I can not see myself honestly dating someone 45 years old. That's a few years younger than my mother and father. I mean when I am 45 he would be 65. I can not use my prime years changing his diapers and cutting up his food!

So how do Beyonce (C'mon now admit it Jigga may not be Mr. Convalescent 2008 but he is definitely older than B), Catherine Zeta-Jones, or dare say it Anna Nicole-Smith (The queen bee of Depends loving herself!!) do it!?!?!?!

I have to believe money can not just be it. What do you guys think? Lets discuss. Also take the poll regarding this.

Meanwhile Morgan you are in my prayers!

Go for the Gold!!

Good Morning !!

So as we all know the Olympics begin this week. When I was younger, I remember every four years being super excited for the athleticism, the camaraderie, and the event pageantry.

I am now 25 years old...... I know better.

First of all I commend the athletes. Some of them since birth have been groomed to win gold. However, doesn't it seem like the okey doke that after years of training that all I end up with is a medal. I need the International Olympic Committee to start giving cash. Bump love of my country. That's what 4th of July is for!!! Every year I show my patriotism by eating a tasty beef rib!! Although this could be why I am not an Olympian.... my love for the tasty.

Secondly, I find it a bit unnerving that the we allegedly put aside our differences for the period of the Games. I need people to recognize that's a lie. Those other countries still hate us. Some readers may disagree with me. But can you really blame them?

Thirdly, I know that Marv Albert will piss me off. How is it that yo are caught wearing women's underwear but you still have a successful career!! Everytime I hear his voice I am just angry because I know had Ahmad Rashad been caught on that ish we would have never heard from him again! Wait.....wait a minute...... we have not really heard from him again............

Anyhow for those who are interested, join me despite my ranting and raving in watching the Olympics starting Friday with the opening ceremonies.

Lets not lose our heads!

Aww heck no. Just when I think I have heard it all......

I recognize that people are crazy. I am sensitive to those with mental illness. However, I MUST draw the line somewhere! Two incidents in the last week have me rattled and also give me yet another reason not to ride Greyhound!

First, a man on Greyhound bus (which I had sworn never ever to ride again prior to this due to their consistent unprofessionalism and my chance meetings with nuts) began stabbing his seat mate:

"Passengers said they had just reboarded the bus after a break when the suspect
-- for no apparent reason -- stabbed the man sitting next to him dozens of times
as passengers fled in horror. He then severed the man's head, displayed it and
began hacking at the body."

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/08/02/canada.bus.stabbing.ap/index.html

I am not even trying to be insensitive but that's all redamndiculous. This is Crazier than crazy!! I pray for the victims family. I also pray for the crazy beheader!

Then we have this other fool:

"A 31-year-old man killed his girlfriend on the Greek island of Santorini
on Sunday, beheaded her, then fled in a patrol car, a local official
said.
During the ensuing chase, the suspect was shot five times by police and
ran over two women doctors who were riding a motorcycle before he was caught,
the official said."

http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/08/03/greece.crime.ap/index.html

I clearly am not going to Greece.... ever..... what kind of Tomfoolery do they have over there! Currently crossing that country off my European tour list in two thousand never never.